For the parents, it’s like a strong shockwave when their cute little babies turn to be the rebellious and adventurous teenagers who seemingly will do anything to prove them wrong. To some parents, that’s a stressing and exhausting phase which drains every patient they have. Often, this phase becomes the big turn point that ruins the relationship between parents and children. Surely, it’s actually a nightmare for any parent to have their children hating them for reasons and values that they think as good. So, how to build a good relationship with your children around that phase? Follow these ways!
Assist them, don’t play god on them
Way number one of how to build a good relationship with your children is by assisting them. When they’re paving their way as a grown-up, the kids will figure abundant of new things. It’s normal for them to get curious and to try the things they never know before.
To build a good relationship with your children, let them. That’s the first thing you should keep in mind. Give them the knowledge from the good side and bad side. That way, your children will look up at you as someone reliable that helps them in their journey to find about themselves. If you dictate and decide what’s good for them instead, it’ll give them the impression that they’re your possession while they’re a person of their own. Hence, it’ll make them a rebel.
Give them space, don’t suffocate them
As people get older, they get more need for privacy. Every one of us unconsciously loves to have the little secret about our personal being. The same thing applies to your children. So, give them space. Don’t suffocate them to always tell everything to you. When they want to share it, they will. That’ll be the moment for that.
However, if they want to have little privacy, give it. By giving them space, you’re showing that you believe them for their decision and that entitle them of responsibility for what they do. In return, it’ll give them the impression of you as a remarkable figure which understands them. Thus, it’ll build a good relationship between you and your children.
Stay close and attentive, don’t take distance
For some parents, giving their children space often means to give distance. That’s actually won’t build a good relationship with your children. Instead, you make a high wall. Such action often makes your children reluctant to share things with you.
Even though your children need their time alone, stay close and attentive. Note about their activity, about the change of their mood, and etc. Ask them if there’s something not right and get them to talk about it if you see there’s a big change in their behavior. By doing this, you’ll give the sense that you’re always available for them.
Be reasonable and understanding, don’t blame them
The next way to build a good relationship with your children is by being reasonable and understanding. When your value is different from your children, don’t immediately blame them. Ask your children about the ‘why’ before you go to scold them about being wrong.
In most cases, blaming your children without seeing from the POV will land you to a crash. You should keep in mind that your children aren’t you so they might have different ways of thinking and doing things. As long as it’s not harming them or others, remember to ask and see from their point of view.
When you do all of those ways, love your children unconditionally. Remember that they are a person of their own. Raising children is a real challenge. But, parents, you got this!